In this personal account, Beverley Ann D’Cruz, a resident of Brampton, Ontario, recounts receiving a distressing call at 3 a.m. from her cousin in India informing her of her mother’s stroke. Overwhelmed with shock and worry, she rushed to Mumbai to be by her mother’s side, only to discover her father was also battling stage four lung cancer. The emotional burden of witnessing her parents’ declining health was compounded by the challenges of being an immigrant separated by distance.
Initially hopeful of relocating her parents to Canada for a better life, Beverley faced the tragic loss of her father to cancer six months later. Left to care for her ailing mother, she struggled with the conflicting demands of being a new mother herself while providing round-the-clock care. The cultural expectation of dutifully caring for aging parents clashed with the reality of her own limitations and the strain it placed on her physically, emotionally, and financially.
As her mother’s condition worsened, Beverley grappled with feelings of anger, shame, and exhaustion. The once-idealized vision of caring for her mother in her golden years gave way to the harsh reality of daily struggles and unmet expectations. Seeking balance and support, she eventually embraced therapy and adjusted her approach to caregiving, learning to accept her mother’s limitations and prioritize her own well-being.
Acknowledging the need for outside help, Beverley enlisted a personal service worker to assist with caregiving responsibilities, allowing her to focus on her own family and find moments of respite. Through this journey, she discovered the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and accepting help without guilt. Despite the challenges, Beverley found solace in knowing she was doing her best to care for her loved ones with compassion and understanding.